Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
