Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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