were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize