Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
