i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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