If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
