stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize