Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
