I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
