Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize