im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
