just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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