Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
