Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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