Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
