how can u be prego again
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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