it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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