At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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