Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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