he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I FOUND THE LEGS
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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