I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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