Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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