grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
