i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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