My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
