goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
