I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
