in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
