I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
