so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
