Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
