? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
