I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
