i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
