3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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