So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
