she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
it glows. i had to have it.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
