I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
