Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize
