if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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