If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
