good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
you never un-have a 4some
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
