I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
