ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
