Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize