i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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