Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
