well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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