just tell him i said nine months
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
and you fell through a lawn chair
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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