if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Randomize
