That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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