We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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