Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
