so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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