too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
