Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
