My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
