Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
