Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
