i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
