Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
