piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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