We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
