youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
