Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
