If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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